|The Men In
Su Pollard, 44, a former
secretary with the Nottingham Co-op, came second
to a singing Jack Russell terrier on the TV
talent show Opportunity Knocks. Undeterred, she
went on to appear in national tours of Desert
Song, Rose Marie, Godspell and Grease.
was propelled to TV stardom as the chalet maid
Peggy in the BBC comedy Hi-De-Hi! and followed
this with the accident prone parlour maid Ivy in
You Rang, M'Lord?
divorced her Australian schoolteacher husband
Peter Keogh in July 1992 after eight years of
marriage and has been romantically involved with
German restaurateur Michael Lahrmann since
Christmas 1992. She lives in North London and is
currently in the comedy Don't Dress For Dinner at
the Opera House, Jersey.
father Donald is like me in so many ways:
optimistic, lots of drive, quick mind, well read,
precise. His favourite phrase is: 'It's all about
measurements.' Which he says when making his
chairs and wardrobes. he's very much into DIY and
has saved me thousands of pounds in my house.
He's really interesting to talk to. We have these
three hour chinwags when he and my mother, who
live in a coastal village near Skegness, are
staying with me. Dad's 71 now. He retired at 60
from his job as a computer data processor in
Nottingham because there was so much he wanted to
do with his life. He and my mum Hilda love
travelling to faraway places like Hawaii and
Australia. He's a real goer, a male counterpart
of me. All my showbiz friends adore him, and he
them. He's a major influence in my life with his
integrity, honesty, reliability and
a multi-faceted entrepreneur, a big club king and
a self made millionaire. He's an intriguing mix
of being shy and flamboyant. I met him ten years
ago in Blackpool when I was doing the Hi-De-Hi!
stage show and he's become a fantastic friend.
does everything nice that a husband would do but
without being a husband. He never forgets my
birthday, when flowers or plants suddenly arrive.
He travels a lot and always brings me back the
most beautiful presents. He's always there if I
likes similar clothes to me and I can wear his
sparkly jackets. AT a sad time in his life I was
there for him and he's been a solace to me during
particularly upsetting phases. Often he'll fix up
my digs for me if I'm on tour and that always
takes a lot of time and effort. He's lovely.
became great mates when we appeared in panto 16
a fancy dress party, Matthew got hold of some
women's tights and went as Rudolph Nureyev, and I
used body paint to go as a bird. They called us
the Terrible Two.
we're together we catch up on all the gossip and
have D and Ms - deep and meaningfuls. No
niceties, just plain English chat.
extremely witty. He used to say: 'Pollard, lower
your voice to a scream.' Having him on board as
Jeffrey Fairbrother in Hi-De-Hi! was fab because
he's incredibly unselfish. He taught me a lot
about cameras and technical things. Also, I'd
never seen anybody smoke as many fat cigars in
one day. He's a real pal and we have great
conversations. He may have gone to public school,
Bedales, but he doesn't treat me any differently
simply because I don't share the same background.
I think he has respect for me, and it's
reciprocated. We had a great time doing Don't
Dress For Dinner three years ago. I was
absolutely shattered when I first learned about
his cancer scare last year. At one point he
seemed to be at death's door, but I'm happy to
say he's really coming on in leaps and bounds.
He's working a lot, which I'm really pleased
about because he's got a young family. I pray
he'll be around until he's 105 - there's a lot
more I want to do with him.
met Michael in Newcastle. He owns a fantastic
bistro called Cafe Chancellor. When I ordered a
croissant with ham and cheese and some salad, he
clicked his heels and did a 'Heil Hitler!'
salute. 'Great,' I thought, 'this guy can laugh
at himself.' He's never jealous when I go to do's
without him and I like that. We can't see each
other as much as we'd like because I have to go
where my contract stipulates. At one time we
talked about marriage every day but we're over
that. We get on really well and I'm going to
settle for that.
been in the business for only two years when I
met Paul on one of the spin offs of The Comedian
telly shows. I was a dead loss at stand up comedy
and all my stuff ended up on the floor. He said:
'Never mind Su, it happens to all of us.' I
nearly dropped dead when I saw him at the read
through for Hi-De-Hi! In the early days we
weren't getting much money and as he was still
working in the clubs, he used to lend me a fiver
until pay day. He was like the company petty cash
till. He Played my dad in You Rang, M'Lord? and
calls me Four Eyes. I call him the No Neck Man.
He can come over as a bit gruff but that's
because he's a shy man. Mind you, he won't suffer
fools gladly. Through all my ups and downs, he's
always been there. He's loyal, Paul is.
is my leading man in Don't Dress For Dinner. He's
funny, professional, giving and never pulls rank.
I thought from the minute I first saw him at a
BBC Christmas party: 'Oh yes, he's a nice looking
bloke.' We've had a lot of fun. We're just down
to earth people who see the daft side of things.
Our homes are only a ten minute cab drive apart.
He calls me Sis and I call him Bruv because he's
like the brother I never had.
By Ian Woodward