| Toyah Willcox, 44, a
singer in the early '80s, brought punk into
mainstream pop. Today she's touring Britain in a
production of the Wild West musical Calamity
Jane. 'I knew from the age of
five that I didn't like people telling me how to
think. I really loathed being brought up to be
feminine in someone else's image of what
femininity was. I was from a very middle-class
background and I had to wear what my mother told
me to wear -dresses. And because I wasn't
academic, I was being educated to find a rich
husband, which I found insulting.
'I wasn't
allowed to talk to anyone with an accent. The
snobbery and resulting isolation infuriated me.
'When I hit
puberty, I used to physically fight with my
mother - actually hit her -thinking if I fought
she'd keep away. It made for hellish teenage
years. I also stood my ground with teachers at
school and became quite foul-mouthed.
'I first dyed
my hair at 15. My hairdresser shaved my hair to
about half an inch and dyed it blue, leaving a
long, black, pointy fringe down to the tip of my
nose. I thought it was beautiful but I knew Mum
would hate it, so I went home wearing a headscarf.
When my mother pulled it off, she burst into
tears.
'In the early '70s,
my hair together with my make-up - painted black
eye sockets - made quite an impression. But it
was all very negative. I wasn't allowed on buses,
people wouldn't let me in shops, taxis wouldn't
pick me up, people would laugh in my face. It
upset me being prejudged on my looks. That was
rife back then. If you dared to look different,
people reacted quite badly, particularly men, who
were threatened by it.
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'Things changed when I
got my band together and we appeared on Top Of
The Pops with hits like It's A Mystery.
There were posters of me in every shop on every
high street. It was as if for the first time
people were celebrating my unconventional
behaviour. 'As I grew older, the
band split, my acting career took off and my look
gradually changed. As an actress, it's better not
to have a strong image. Also, I didn't want to
hit 40 and have pink hair or be accused of being
stuck in the '80s.
'I don't think
I've changed as a person though - I'm still an
outsider. I don't live a normal life. I don't
have children and, although I'm married, my
husband Robert Fripp, who's a musician, doesn't
live with me - I'm constantly on theatre tours
while he lives in the States. So I don't feel
I've conformed in any way. In fact, I'm a bit
like Calamity Jane, the role I'm playing at the
moment. In 1850, she was the original rebel going
round dressed as a man, challenging the female
place in society.
'But I have
come full circle in other respects.
Originally, I rebelled to get out of Birmingham
and away from my family, but I now look after my
mum and dad. I bought their house and I make sure
they're OK. It's fine as long as they don't tell
me how to live my life - they learnt that lesson
a long time ago!'
M Magazine - 18th
January 2003
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